Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
that may or may not have been my penis.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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