Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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