so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
