for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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