dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
