someone owes me an orgasm
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
