I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
