I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
