The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
