pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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