CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
