Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
