the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize