You kept calling me your small dog last night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
