you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
