nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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