she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
