I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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