i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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