I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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