He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
