My liver just broke up with me...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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