remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
