From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize