Where is the hickey?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
