soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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