No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
