So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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