So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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