operation harelip BJ is a go
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
