Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
