He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
