New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
