I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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