I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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