from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
