Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
