I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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