Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize