i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
