She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
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