Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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