I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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