Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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