Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
