i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
