I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
