there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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