we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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