Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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