Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
