tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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