If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
