Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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