apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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