When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize