Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
