Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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