bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I did not marry a roomba.
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