I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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