I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
