im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
