his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
