An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
