I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She's the barista slut.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
