i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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