I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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