Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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