Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
