Your mouth is God's brothel.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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