jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
4 words: hood of his car
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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