I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is Oprah even human
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
