I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
